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Priceless in game quotes.

Posted by paradisio on May 13, 2009

Greetings again to the Internet, it is I VonKrause and I bring forth more silly nonsense at the request of Paradisio. I like my friend Paradisio have DM’ed before and have a number of things that I have said I was sorry for. Again sorry Chris for my horrible DMing.

That aside I have kept a running quote list inside of my personal 3.5 players handbook, some of which are quite entertaining. And I assure you they are all legit, every last one of them was said by a player or a DM in a session. So with no more stalling here goes.

“The closer we are to danger the farther we are from harm.” -Ace-

“You have 15 seconds to stop arguing before I do a barrel roll and drop you.” -VonKrause- (In game character Braken the half white dragon unicorn)

“So what did you say about snakes peeing in the water?” -Sabin- (In game Yuna)

“I am a foreign prince from the far away land of Egytia.” -Jarod- (In game “THE Cid”)

“If you want to bathe in my skull it’s your own business.” -Bone Dragon-

“Nothing is truly immortal. It’s just a rumor we spread to fool all the mortals.” -VonKrause- (In game Krystal the vampire)

“You only live once… Well…” (In Game Monk “Guay” to vampire Krystal)

“Is it over 120 degrees?” -DevilBoy-…… “IT’S LAVA!” -Paradisio- (DM)

“I was about to say, your going to eat an enervation in the face!” -VonKrause-

“I think I am gonna be a halfling Barbarian. It’s like a little ball of hate.” -VonKrause-……….. “Nah it’s more like a highly concentrated ball of hate, like an attack hamster.” -Joe-

Die roll results, 6…6…6… “Dood it’s the sign of the druid!” -Unknown-

“Holy crap I pulled a Church!” -Ace-

“Kill…Kill…Kill them all one by one they start to fall, beat them burn them skin them alive it doesn’t matter as long as they die!” -Boo-

“Just cause you look 5 years older than me doesn’t mean I’m not your mom. Now back off!” -VonKrause- (In game Spymaster Nerrisa)

“The rock is not a god, it’s a f***ing rock. But it’s THE rock.” -VonKrause- (In game drunken fighter Ikkiky)

“All things in life are lost in the technicalities.” -FatNinja-

“Eleven per berry, plus the base of what you just rolled, and plus the falling damage you are about to take…. ya your dead.” -Paradisio to player DevilBoy-

“Then Monev the Gail goes down in a cone of skittles.” -VonKrause-

“Do I need to roll for squeezing?” -Richard-

“Does anyone have any kind of equipment that could help here? Like maybe two cans and some string?” -VonKrause-

“Aya! I WILL DIE FOR MY FREEDOM!” -Paradisio-

Well there it is everyone, I hope you enjoyed the read and perhaps got a good chuckle out of it. Until next time keep doing that voodoo that you do.

-VonKrause-

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3 Responses to “Priceless in game quotes.”

  1. Ace! said

    Should I post some of mine?

  2. Ace! said

    Okay, I have others but I’m going to post strictly game quotes. 😀

    “We’re willing to become vampires if it will keep us alive.” -Joe, WoD campaign.

    “There is NO rule that says you can’t web a swarm!” -Whitey

    “Damnit, we’re down to our last 54,000…” -Ace

    “We’re recreating the repunsel story!” -Paradisio …… “But with pubic hair.” -VonKrause

    “You need to know the command word… and it is ‘I-am-a-fucking-douche!’ and you have to say it really loud to get it to work.” -Paradisio

    “Ace, why do you have a fork?” -Justing …… “Planeshift.” -Paradisio

    “Whoaaaa! I’m fuckin’ a peanut!” -Rava; Fox God; Clockwork Nirvana; Day Unknown 167

    “What I find funny, is that there are giant tampons stapled to the roofs for 5-7 days.” -Rob

    “What am I, a catapult!?” -Paradisio

    “The clerics in this campaign have essentially degraded into the cell phones of god.” -Unknown

    “Cathedral, Church, Cathedral!” -Ace

    “Is someone praying to me!?!” -Paradisio

    “You’re kidding, he’s a fucking wizard pimp!?” -Joe

    “Hey baby, I’ve got a rope trick here if you want to join me~” -Paradisio

    “I feel spoiled. This is better than what I normally eat… scratch that, this is exactly what I eat. Just slower and on a plate… and they cooked it? What the hell!?” -Whitey

    “What is it, a 14 foot tall gnome with a turtle shell or something? Going all like ‘warghwarghwargh!’ ” -Whitey

    “These people just have no hope. We could drop them in the middle of an oasis with a bunch of sammiches and they would choke on something!” -Whitey

    “Damnit, you’re like the rock star who goes to a hotel and says ‘I want all my peanuts shelled!’ ..and then throws them on the floor.” -Paradisio

    “Boo…. am I covered in balls?” -VonKrause (GCM summons a hail of Rocky Mountain Oysters)

    “Alright Chris, instead of taking her home we go to a volcano…” -Ace

    “Are you telling me I’ve been killing people for FREE all this time!?” -Ace

    “You see your life flash before your eyes in high-definition.” -Paradisio

    “We need a… pure woman.” -Paradisio …… “Yeah, not so much.” -VonKrause …… “Not even a little?” -Paradisio

    “So Krause is just sexing up an 11 year-old boy?” -Ace …… “Yeah, pretty much.” -VonKrause

    “So, you know you’re a pedophile right?” -Church …… “NOT BY CHOICE!!” -VonKrause

    “Who’s child is this?” -Raditz …. “Goku steps up.” -Paradisio …. “Me too.” -Ace …. “And me too.” -Boo

    “Who would be stupid enough to break into a ninja fortress through the front door!?!” -Unkown

    “Okay, so he’s covered in grease, stuck in a web, invisible, surrounded in mist, on fire and… covered in glitter.” -Unknown

    Alrighty. Enjoy gais!

  3. VonKrause said

    Wow I had alot of quotes I had forgoten about, wow some of those make me look wierd! LoL

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